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(Super-Featherweight) Army of Dorkness 12 defeated Jumping Joe Sally by technical knockout (TKO) in round 8.

Match Wednesday, September 02, 2015

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 10 inches (147 centimeters) tall weighing in at 130 pounds (59 kilograms) is Army of Dorkness 12!!

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 11 inches (150 centimeters) tall weighing in at 130 pounds (59 kilograms) is Jumping Joe Sally!!

The referee for this bout will be Dalby Shirley.

ROUND 1

Dorkness 12 clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Sally clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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+Sally solidly lands a roundhouse to the eye!!
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+Dorkness 12 hits with a flurry of blows to the chin. Sally sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
Dorkness 12 lands a sudden cross to the jaw and Sally hurtles to the canvas!!

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TWO

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FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT
Sally struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.

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+Dorkness 12 tags Sally with a volley of commanding shots to the head.
+Sally jolts Dorkness 12 with a series of quick blows to the temple.
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-Sally attacks with a pair of shots to the jaw, but flails uselessly.
+Sally scores with a light right to the temple.
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-Dorkness 12 throws a pair of left shots to the nose, but Sally escapes.
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-Sally lunges with a flurry of right punches to the mouth, but only hits air.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Sally tosses a barrage of nice shots to the mouth.
Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 12 attacks with Sally with an elbow! The referee sees it and issues a warning!
Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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The fighters study each other.
Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 12 hits with a series of strong shots to the nose!
Dorkness 12 lands a crashing right hook and Sally goes down!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN
Sally struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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+Dorkness 12 solidly lands a series of loud blows to the face.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 12 drills Sally with a barrage of painful shots to the temple.

BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 12 landed 14 of 23 punches, and Jumping Joe Sally landed 16 of 23 punches.

Army of Dorkness 12 won the round 10-7

Army of Dorkness 12 is winning the fight 10-7


Dorkness 12 doesn't want to stop fighting!

Sally doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 2

Dorkness 12 clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Sally clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Sally nails Dorkness 12 with a pair of blows to the solar plexus.
-Dorkness 12 tries a pair of punches to the stomach, but falls short.
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-Sally paws a flurry of right blows to the ribs, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
+Dorkness 12 wallops Sally with a series of nice blows to the solar plexus.
Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.

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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 12 landed 9 of 16 punches, and Jumping Joe Sally landed 11 of 24 punches.

Army of Dorkness 12 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 12 is winning the fight 20-16


Dorkness 12 doesn't even want to rest!

Sally remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 3

Dorkness 12 clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Sally clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.

+Sally grazes Dorkness 12 with a pair of strong blows to the stomach!
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Sally lashes out with a pair of left blows to the stomach, but he's too slow.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.

+Dorkness 12 fires a barrage of heavy punches to the stomach.
+Sally hurts Dorkness 12 with a pair of shots to the stomach.
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+Dorkness 12 fires a barrage of strong shots to the stomach.

BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 12 landed 13 of 22 punches, and Jumping Joe Sally landed 12 of 24 punches.

Army of Dorkness 12 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 12 is winning the fight 30-25


Dorkness 12 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Sally grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.



ROUND 4

Dorkness 12 clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Sally clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 12 hits with a flurry of painful punches to the chest. Sally gets mad!
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+Dorkness 12 staggers Sally with a barrage of painful shots to the solar plexus. Sally retreats to the far corner.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.

Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Sally stuns Dorkness 12 with a volley of hard punches to the stomach.
Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Sally throws a series of punches to the chest.
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-Sally probes with a barrage of punches to the chest, but Dorkness 12 takes it in the forearms.
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+Dorkness 12 slams Sally with a furious hook to the stomach. Sally sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
-Dorkness 12 charges with a right straight right to the solar plexus, but Sally stays away from it.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 12 landed 16 of 24 punches, and Jumping Joe Sally landed 10 of 26 punches.

Army of Dorkness 12 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 12 is winning the fight 40-34


Dorkness 12 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Sally is obviously tired.



ROUND 5

Dorkness 12 clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Sally clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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+Sally solidly lands a flurry of punches to the ribs.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.

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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Sally throws a series of right shots to the solar plexus, but is ineffective.
+Dorkness 12 punches Sally with a flurry of glancing shots to the solar plexus.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.

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-Sally tries a series of left shots to the stomach, but Dorkness 12 hides behind his gloves.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Dorkness 12 throws a barrage of left shots to the chest, but Sally steps aside and laughs.
Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Sally throws a flurry of nice shots to the solar plexus.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 12 landed 14 of 25 punches, and Jumping Joe Sally landed 10 of 21 punches.

Army of Dorkness 12 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 12 is winning the fight 50-43


Dorkness 12 grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Sally is slowing down.



ROUND 6

Dorkness 12 clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Sally clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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+Dorkness 12 attacks with a jab to the ribs.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Sally lashes out with a series of shots to the solar plexus, but fails to score.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Dorkness 12 tries to land a pair of right punches to the stomach, but Sally backs out of it.
Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Sally pokes Dorkness 12 with a barrage of punches to the ribs.
Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.

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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Sally shakes Dorkness 12 with a flurry of nasty shots to the stomach.
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+Dorkness 12 lands a series of powerful blows to the chest!
Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.

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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 12 landed 13 of 25 punches, and Jumping Joe Sally landed 10 of 25 punches.

Army of Dorkness 12 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 12 is winning the fight 60-52


Dorkness 12 grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Sally looks exhausted.



ROUND 7

Dorkness 12 clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Sally clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)

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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 12 punches Sally with a flurry of off balance punches to the chest.
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.

Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 12 lands a volley of punches to the stomach.
Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
-Dorkness 12 throws a volley of left blows to the stomach, but comes up empty.
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+Sally strikes with a flurry of off balance punches to the solar plexus. Dorkness 12 doesn't seem bothered.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
-Sally lunges with a flurry of right blows to the ribs, but misses.
-Sally probes with a flurry of blows to the stomach, but Dorkness 12 blocks.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 12 landed 15 of 25 punches, and Jumping Joe Sally landed 8 of 26 punches.

Army of Dorkness 12 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 12 is winning the fight 70-61


Dorkness 12 grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Sally collapses limply onto his stool.



ROUND 8

Dorkness 12 clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Sally grabs his opponent and pounds him. (clinching)

Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Sally tries a volley of punches to the mouth, but comes up empty.
+Dorkness 12 nails Sally with a series of punches to the chest.
Dorkness 12 lands a devestating smash to the jaw and Sally falls senseless!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE
Sally struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.

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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.

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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Sally whacks Dorkness 12 with a pair of shots to the chin.
-Sally fires a flurry of blows to the temple, but he's too slow.
Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Sally pummels Dorkness 12 with a barrage of shots to the nose. Dorkness 12 sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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Dorkness 12 tries to attack, but Sally hangs on until the referee separates them.
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Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 12 tattoos Sally with a series of vicious shots to the ribs.
Sally tries to attack, but Dorkness 12 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Sally grazes Dorkness 12 with a barrage of loud blows to the jaw!
+Dorkness 12 fires a pair of furious punches to the chest.
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The fighters study each other.
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+Dorkness 12 suprises Sally with a volley of punches to the solar plexus.
Dorkness 12 lands a beautiful right cross to the jaw and Sally is flattened!!

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX
Sally struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
+Dorkness 12 connects with a barrage of hard punches to the stomach! Sally sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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-Sally probes with a left hook to the chin, but Dorkness 12 ducks.
+Dorkness 12 attacks with a barrage of furious blows to the ribs. Dorkness 12 is raining blows! Sally's arms hang limply at his sides. The Referee stops the fight!
Army of Dorkness 12 wins by a Knock Out!!

BELL
Dorkness 12 grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Sally can't remember which corner is his.






Judge Guimond had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Army of Dorkness 12 10-7
Round 2: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 3: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 5: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 7: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9


Judge Leinbach had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Army of Dorkness 12 10-7
Round 2: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 3: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 5: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 7: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9


Larry Holmes had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Army of Dorkness 12 10-7
Round 2: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 3: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 5: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9
Round 7: Army of Dorkness 12 10-9

Army of Dorkness 12 wins by a technical knockout!