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Public Fight Report

(Featherweight) Army of Dorkness 5 defeated Jack O'Lantern by knockout (KO) in round 7.

Match Wednesday, December 16, 2015

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 9 inches (145 centimeters) tall weighing in at 126 pounds (57 kilograms) is Army of Dorkness 5!!

In this corner, standing 4 feet and 9 inches (145 centimeters) tall weighing in at 123 pounds (56 kilograms) is Jack O'Lantern!!

The referee for this bout will be Dalby Shirley.

ROUND 1

Dorkness 5 comes out fighting.
Lantern tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Lantern throws a volley of combinations to the jaw, but misses.
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+Lantern jars Dorkness 5 with a pair of combinations to the chin. Dorkness 5 shakes his head to clear it.
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+Lantern belts Dorkness 5 with a commanding cross to the temple!! Dorkness 5 doesn't seem bothered.
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+Dorkness 5 catches Lantern with a barrage of heavy shots to the chest.
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-Lantern attempts a series of left punches to the eye, but only hits air.
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+Lantern punches Dorkness 5 with a pair of punches to the face.
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+Lantern throws a volley of punches to the temple. Dorkness 5 seems wobbly!
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-Lantern charges with a series of right punches to the head, but is ineffective.
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+Lantern scores with a pair of strong combinations to the jaw.
-Dorkness 5 throws a series of punches to the chest, but loses his balance.
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+Dorkness 5 staggers Lantern with a barrage of nasty combinations to the stomach. Lantern sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 5 landed 17 of 24 punches, and Jack O'Lantern landed 24 of 44 punches.

This round was a 10-10 tie.

This fight is too close to call.


Dorkness 5 doesn't want to stop fighting!

Lantern doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 2

Dorkness 5 comes out fighting.
Lantern tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Lantern tries to land a right sweeping right to the head, but Dorkness 5 blocks.
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-Lantern charges with a flurry of combinations to the eye, but Dorkness 5 deftly avoits it.
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-Dorkness 5 attempts a barrage of right punches to the chest, but falls short.
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+Dorkness 5 fires a series of nasty combinations to the solar plexus.
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+Dorkness 5 attacks with a flurry of shots to the solar plexus!! Lantern sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
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+Dorkness 5 backs up Lantern with a flurry of mean punches to the solar plexus. Lantern shakes his head to clear it.
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+Lantern lands a barrage of painful shots to the face.
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-Lantern attempts a series of left combinations to the head, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
+Lantern hits Dorkness 5 with a pair of combinations to the jaw.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 5 landed 16 of 23 punches, and Jack O'Lantern landed 23 of 37 punches.

Jack O'Lantern won the round 10-9

Jack O'Lantern is winning the fight 20-19


Dorkness 5 doesn't even want to rest!

Lantern remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.



ROUND 3

Dorkness 5 comes out fighting.
Lantern tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

+Lantern throws a pair of nasty combinations to the mouth.
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+Lantern rocks Dorkness 5 with a flurry of punches to the jaw.
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-Dorkness 5 lashes out with a pair of shots to the stomach, but Lantern blocks.
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-Lantern lunges with a volley of punches to the jaw, but Dorkness 5 takes it in the forearms.
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-Lantern charges with a pair of punches to the temple, but misses completely.
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+ The fighters swap combinations to the jaw.
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+Lantern lands a pair of heavy combinations to the eye.
+Dorkness 5 hurts Lantern with a flurry of punches to the ribs.
+Dorkness 5 lands a series of nice punches to the solar plexus. Lantern gets mad!
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-Lantern probes with a combination to the chin, but Dorkness 5 ties him up.
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+Lantern hits Dorkness 5 with a barrage of solid combinations to the nose.
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+Dorkness 5 jolts Lantern with a volley of combinations to the solar plexus.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 5 landed 16 of 25 punches, and Jack O'Lantern landed 20 of 41 punches.

Army of Dorkness 5 won the round 10-9

This fight is too close to call.


Dorkness 5 doesn't even want to rest!

Lantern grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.



ROUND 4

Dorkness 5 comes out fighting.
Lantern tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Lantern fires a jab to the temple, but Dorkness 5 leaps aside.
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+Lantern takes charge with a flurry of combinations to the mouth!
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+Lantern belts Dorkness 5 with a flurry of stiff shots to the face. Dorkness 5 sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
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+Dorkness 5 attacks with a series of blows to the stomach.
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+Dorkness 5 wakes up the fans with a barrage of heavy shots to the chest!
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+Dorkness 5 shakes Lantern with a barrage of shots to the stomach. Lantern backpedals to his own corner.
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-Lantern throws a series of punches to the temple, but fails to score.
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+Lantern smashes Dorkness 5 with a barrage of hard combinations to the temple.
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-Lantern lashes out with a barrage of left combinations to the chin, but Dorkness 5 ties him up.
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-Dorkness 5 tries a volley of shots to the stomach, but he's too slow.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 5 landed 16 of 24 punches, and Jack O'Lantern landed 21 of 41 punches.

Army of Dorkness 5 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 5 is winning the fight 39-38


Dorkness 5 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Lantern is obviously tired.



ROUND 5

Dorkness 5 comes out fighting.
Lantern tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

-Lantern charges with a pair of left punches to the chin, but to no avail.
-Lantern fires a barrage of left combinations to the eye, but fails to score.
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+Dorkness 5 suprises Lantern with a series of blows to the temple.
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+Dorkness 5 tosses a series of loud combinations to the solar plexus. Lantern asks for time to wipe off the blood.
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-Lantern fires a roundhouse to the temple, but only hits air.
+Lantern wakes up the fans with a pair of combinations to the eye.
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+Lantern smashes Dorkness 5 with a flurry of punches to the mouth.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 5 landed 21 of 24 punches, and Jack O'Lantern landed 15 of 41 punches.

Army of Dorkness 5 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 5 is winning the fight 49-47


Dorkness 5 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Lantern is slowing down.



ROUND 6

Dorkness 5 comes out fighting.
Lantern tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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-Lantern fires a flurry of combinations to the mouth, but fails to score.
-Lantern paws a flurry of blows to the temple, but Dorkness 5 escapes.
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+Lantern punches Dorkness 5 with a hard roundhouse to the nose.
+Lantern lands a series of punches to the chin.
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-Lantern lashes out with a sweeping right to the head, but Dorkness 5 ducks.
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-Lantern probes with a series of right punches to the temple, but Dorkness 5 ties him up.
+Dorkness 5 strikes with a volley of stinging blows to the mouth. Lantern backpedals to his own corner.
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+Dorkness 5 tattoos Lantern with a series of off balance blows to the chin.
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+Dorkness 5 hits with a series of furious shots to the nose.
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-Lantern probes with a volley of shots to the mouth, but misses completely.
+Dorkness 5 hits with a barrage of nasty punches to the nose.
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+Lantern pops Dorkness 5 with a series of punches to the head.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Army of Dorkness 5 landed 19 of 23 punches, and Jack O'Lantern landed 14 of 39 punches.

Army of Dorkness 5 won the round 10-9

Army of Dorkness 5 is winning the fight 59-56


Dorkness 5 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Lantern collapses limply onto his stool. He has serious cut below the left eye.



ROUND 7

Dorkness 5 comes out fighting.
Lantern tries to cut off the ring. (cutting off the ring)

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+Dorkness 5 tags Lantern with a barrage of vicious blows to the chin.
+Dorkness 5 rocks Lantern with a pair of blows to the face. Lantern beats a hasty retreat.
Dorkness 5 lands a tremendous blow to the temple and Lantern's knees buckle -- he topples to the canvas!!

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FIVE

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NINE
Lantern struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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+Dorkness 5 lashes out with a straight right to the nose!
+Dorkness 5 punches Lantern with a commanding right to the nose. Lantern sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
+Dorkness 5 strikes with a volley of combinations to the eye.
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-Lantern attempts a volley of right punches to the chin, but misses.
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-Lantern lunges with a flurry of right combinations to the head, but fails to score.
-Lantern paws a pair of combinations to the mouth, but he's too slow.
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The fighters study each other.
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+Dorkness 5 belts Lantern with a barrage of blows to the mouth.
Dorkness 5 lands a thundering blow to the temple and Lantern is lifted off his feet and onto his back!!

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FIVE

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SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE
Lantern struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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+Dorkness 5 tosses a series of painful punches to the head. Lantern seems wobbly!
Dorkness 5 lands a cruel left blow to the head and Lantern's mouth guard flies into the far corner -- he's down!!

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FOUR

FIVE

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SEVEN

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TEN
He's Out!
Army of Dorkness 5 wins by a Knock Out!!

BELL
Dorkness 5 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Lantern receives medical attention from his trainer. He has gash below the left eye. He has a bloody mouth.






Judge Guimond had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: A 10-10 tie.
Round 2: A 10-10 tie.
Round 3: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 5: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9


Judge Leinbach had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Jack O'Lantern 10-9
Round 2: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 3: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 5: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9


Larry Holmes had the fight scored as follows:

Round 1: Jack O'Lantern 10-9
Round 2: A 10-10 tie.
Round 3: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 4: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 5: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9
Round 6: Army of Dorkness 5 10-9

Army of Dorkness 5 wins by a knockout!