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The Thumb

by Game Admin

Warning: This commentary contains adult oriented content and is written by a fat, degenerate slob who can't spell and is addicted to porn.

If you are a minor, have any self-respect, or even a modicum of taste, stop reading now.

Scheduler Logs

Jan 27, 2018 8:14 PM

I'll be the first to tell you that the scheduling system for this game is...a...fucking...nightmare.

Every time someone has a complaint about the scheduler I have to wade through 10 bazillion lines of code dating back 20 years written by the worst developer I've ever met (me).

To simplify things for everyone moving forward I've implemented scheduler logs where entries are written out to a log during the scheduling process. You can then check the entries for a specific fighter to see what the scheduler is up to and why he is or isn't getting scheduled.

As of now only scheduling efforts for world title holders are logged but I'll add more detail and more fighters over time.

It won't make the scheduler work any better but it will at least give us some insight into what the old piece of shit is doing.

Please, please, no applause.

Creating higher rated fighters

Nov 12, 2016 5:20 PM

Now when you create a boxer you can create him with a rating of from 0 to 10

Creating 0 rated boxers is free. After that it's 100 credits per rating point (roughly 10 cents per rating point).

Think of a 0 rated boxer as being a nobody and a 10 rated boxer as being an Olympic gold medalist. They may be new to the pro game but they will likely face a decent opponent fairly quickly.

When you create a boxer with a higher rating you get to allocate the "average" # of ability points for that rating level for that division at that point in time.


  • You don't have to fight your way up the rankings
  • Less of a fight history for people to scout
  • Shorter path to title contention
  • Better chance at a title before your boxer ages.


  • Potentially have fewer ability points than a boxer managed expertly from a 0 rating.

Bringing back the greats.

Nov 11, 2016 1:56 PM

Ever wanted to manage the next Tyson or Ali? Well now you can.

I'm introducing something called "Naturals". A natural is a boxer who is just better than most. Gifted. Special.

Rarely, very rarely, a boxer will be created that is a natural.

The catch? You won't know he's special. He'll have extra APs but they won't show up in his stats. They'll be hidden and they may affect 1 or more abilities. Not always all. All you'll know is that when he's in the ring he can do amazing things if managed right. You might notice that if he fights outside he has crazy knockout skills beyond what his stats would suggest or maybe he just can't be hit.

In some cases their gifts won't show up until after a certain # of fights.

These fighters will be rare and their generation will be completely random. No connection to contributions, manager skill level of # of fighters. I have no doubt that most will go undiscovered and be wasted. Scanning thousands of fight reports might give you a clue as a to a fighter's potential, but that's a big job.

But they will be out there, waiting for you to find them. The next Ali, Tyson, Foreman.

Stephen Baldwin has a Vagina

Oct 31, 2016 11:30 PM

A classic The Thumb reprint from Thursday, February 7th, 2008

Stephen Baldwin got yelled at by Piers Morgan. His feelings were hurt so he quit the men’s team and joined the women’s team. He even admitted to Donald Trump that he felt “beat up”.

Watching this made me feel kind of ill. I mean sure he’s the king of B-movies but feeling beat up by Piers Morgan - who you know has munched a few sausages in his time…

Here’s a tampon Stephen. Go to town. You're the least talented Baldwin anyway.

Blog Upgrades

Oct 30, 2016 5:18 PM

Today I did a pretty significant upgrade on the blogs. Ported them to the new look, cleaned up some longstanding problems with authoring blogs and generally just cleaned shit up. Blogs used to be a huge part of the game and I want to return to those days. Some of our managers really have worked hard on blogs in the past and that effort needs to be recognized and rewarded. You can expect the blogs to be continuously upgraded from this point forward.

Blow me Al Gore...no really...blow me.

Oct 27, 2016 9:03 PM

A classic The Thumb reprint

He flys all over the place telling the rest of us working stiffs to feel guilty about our energy use, lifestyle etc., all the while burning 30K a year worth of hydro in his house and rationalizing it by saying he buys offsetting carbon credits, i.e., "I'm wealthy so I can pay my way out of feeling personally responsible". The reality is that environmental measures currently being proposed are going to hurt those who can least afford it the most. There's a sene of elitism to environmentalism these days that is patently offensive. Do I give a rat's ass about how much electricity Al Gore uses? Hell No. I wish I had his money and if I did I wouldn't be telling people to take the bus and recycle ass-wipe unless I was doing some pretty serious conserving myself. Having him lecture us about the environment is like being being lectured by Traci Lords on safe sex. Give me a freaking break.

Screw off Al

Just one more reason Toronto sucks

Feb 28, 2010 12:17 PM

A classic The Thumb reprint from Friday, April 20, 2007

In typical knee-jerk Toronto loony style, they've decided to pull the "support our troops" emblems from the city's fire trucks. This is because of concern that this could be construed as support for the current military action in Afghanistan.

What a load of horseshit. But what do you expect from a city that refused to let a band called The Barenaked Ladies play a concert due to it's name. BNL of course being one of the most harmless feel-good bands in existence. And what do you expect from a city with such an inferiority complex that city marketers can't speak of the city withut using the expression "world-class". C'mon guys, that is so sad. What is world-class anyway?

Using Toronto's reasoning, the only time you should support the troops is when they're doing nothing which is of course ass backwards. The emblems say "support the troops" not "support the war". The stickers are meant to be an apolitical statement of support for men and women who are doing a job they are told to do, and risking their lives in the process. It is sad that cowardly politicians are caving to cowardly special-interest groups with no grasp of what it means to be a Canadian.

I support the troops, regardless of whether or not I agree with where the politicians send them.


Men don't cry

Feb 28, 2010 12:16 PM

A Classic The Thumb Reprint

I cried like a baby on the weekend. It's not easy for me to admit that. Guys aren't supposed to cry except under rare circumstances.

  • A man can cry when his dog dies only if it weighs over 100 pounds or if people are afraid of it for any reason.
  • A man can cry if his favourite sports team loses.
  • A man can cry if he finds out his son is gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).
  • A man can cry if someone steals his pickup truck.

A man cannot cry because he's been dumped or otherwise had his heart broken and he especially cannot cry over pain or injury. If a man is physically injured all he can do is clench his teeth and suck in air making a hissing/sucking sound. This applies to all forms of pain, even having your arm ripped from it's socket by someone else's 100 lb viscious dog. If you shoot the dog, the owner can cry, but you must bleed to death making the same sound as a dentist's saliva sucker.

Back on topic. I cried this weekend. I cried over a movie and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I couldn't help it, sometimes a movie just touches you with it's tenderness and warmth, it's acting, and exploration of the human condition that you're just overwhelmed.

When I saw Jet-Li drop a villain with a reverse spinning heel kick right into a guy's nutsack, I knew that the movie Fearless had changed my life. I couldn't stop crying and might even have thrown up a little I was so overcome. There was some other stuff about a blind black guy and a piano and some chick, but I didn't really understand it and we never saw her tits so I kept flicking to the hockey game. Also, they kept talking about a dog in the movie, but I never saw it and I looked really, really hard. I wonder if it weighed more than 100 lbs?

Anyway, it was like...the best movie I ever saw and it made me cry. Here's a big thumbs up for Jet Li and Fearless.

If you crapped today, thank a plumber

Feb 25, 2010 3:06 PM

A classic The Thumb reprint

On the way home tonight I passed a huge sign that read "if you ate today, thank a farmer"

I am sooo sick of Ottawa area farmers and their whining. Now I take a great risk by saying this because every time the local farmers get pissed off they take their tractors and combines and block the local highways, causing problems for everyone by essentially using force, i.e. leveraging superior size to make others bend to their will. Let's not kid ourselves - that's force, not peaceful protest. Here's hoping I don't wake up with 40 tractors on my lawn tomorrow.

The last time I checked farming was a choice. And yes I know many farmers are struggling right now but they've made a conscious choice to stay in an industry that's hit hard financial times. When hi-tech went sour and engineers and technologists were getting laid off by the thousands, did they hit the streets in protest? Nope. Did they post signs all over the place "if you used a phone to call 911 to get an ambulance today, thank a telecom engineer?, nope. They hustled to find other jobs, or retrain.

And what's more annoying these days is the use of the term "family farm". You say "family farm", I hear "inherited". Not too many engineers inherited their jobs from their parents.

Farmers don't leave because it's a lifestyle choice. I respect that but don't expect me to pity you because your lifestyle choice isn't paying as much as you'd like. And spare me the noble occupation bullshit. Do farmers wake up in the morning and ask themselves, what shall I do today? put out fires, fight crime, find a cure for aids? Naaahhhhh, I think I'll grab the manure spreader and spread shit all over the back 40. Look at me I'm mother-freakin-Theresa, feeding the world I am. It's gotta be tough working the land in a $100,000 worth of air-conditioned satellite radio-equipped tractor.

No one thanks me for doing my job, Does anyone thank you for doing yours?

But hey, the farmers want thanks for doing their jobs, getting paid isn't enough, they want gratitude. OK, fine. Let me thank everyone who did something or made something that made my day better today, in the order in which I used their products or services, beginning with first thin this morning.

  1. Thank you Labatts
  2. Thank you Jack Daniels
  3. Thank you Bayer Aspirin
  4. Thank you Valtrex
  5. Thank you Trojan (xtra large)
  6. Thank you Quilted Northern Bath Tissue
  7. Thank you farmer
  8. Thank you Quilted Northern Bath Tissue
  9. Thank you Dodge
  10. Thank you Somali parking lot guy
  11. Thank you Otis Elevator
  12. Thank you Gateway Computers
  13. Thank you Juan Valdez (psstt...and you too Jack Daniels..wink, wink)
  14. Thank you Quilted Northern Bath Tissue
  15. Thank you Gateway Computers
  16. Thank you House of Sushi
  17. Thank you Quilted Northern Bath Tissue
  18. Thank you Gateway Computers
  19. Thank you Quilted Northern Bath Tissue
  20. Thank you Gateway Computers
  21. Thank you Quilted Northern Bath Tissue
  22. Thank you Dodge
  23. Thank you Quilted Northern Bath Tissue
  24. Thank you Hungry-Man Dinners (I don't think these come from farms)
  25. Thank you Labatts
  26. Thank you Quilted Northern Bath Tissue
  27. Thank you Playboy Channel
  28. Thank you Handi-wipes
  29. Thank you Seagrams

Thank you for reading.