Public Fight Report

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(Heavyweight) Stay Puft Marshmallow Man defeated Christopher Hitchens by unanimous decision: 116-112, 120-110, 120-110.

Match Tuesday, August 12, 2014

In this corner, standing 5 feet and 8 inches (173 centimeters) tall weighing in at 255 pounds (116 kilograms) is Christopher Hitchens!!

In this corner, standing 9 feet and 3 inches (282 centimeters) tall weighing in at 998 pounds (453 kilograms) is Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!!

The referee for this bout will be Jay Nady.

ROUND 1

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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+Hitchens throws a series of furious shots to the chest. Stay shakes his head to clear it.
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-Hitchens throws a barrage of right shots to the eye, but goes wide.
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-Hitchens throws a volley of left blows to the chest, but Stay covers himself well.
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-Hitchens paws a pair of left shots to the chest, but flails uselessly.
-Hitchens probes with a volley of left punches to the chest, but Stay steps aside and laughs.
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+Stay belts Hitchens with a pair of punches to the solar plexus.
+Hitchens smashes Stay with a volley of loud blows to the head!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 10 of 33 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 10-9


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 2

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens fires a left left to the mouth, but falls short.
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-Hitchens fires a volley of right shots to the ribs, but loses his balance.
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-Hitchens fires a volley of left shots to the eye, but fails to score.
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+Stay pounds Hitchens with a series of furious shots to the mouth.
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+Hitchens pounds Stay with a pair of loud shots to the head. Stay shakes his head to clear it.
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+Hitchens whacks Stay with a flurry of punches to the temple!!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 10 of 31 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 9 punches.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man won the round 10-9

This fight is too close to call.


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 3

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens throws a flurry of right blows to the head, but Stay blocks.
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-Hitchens probes with a pair of right blows to the eye, but Stay ducks just in time.
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+Hitchens belts Stay with a volley of off balance shots to the head.
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-Hitchens throws a flurry of right shots to the chin, but Stay ties him up.
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-Hitchens probes with a series of right punches to the face, but falls short.
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+Stay connects with a jab to the nose.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 9 of 30 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

This round was a 10-10 tie.

This fight is too close to call.


Hitchens remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 4

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens throws a series of left shots to the mouth, but Stay stays away from it.
-Hitchens throws a right jab to the head, but Stay narrowly avoids it
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+Stay drills Hitchens with a volley of shots to the eye.
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-Hitchens probes with a series of left punches to the mouth, but Stay ducks just in time.
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+Hitchens attacks with a volley of off balance shots to the temple!
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-Hitchens launches a pair of left punches to the ribs, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 8 of 31 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 7 of 7 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 39-38


Hitchens remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 5

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens lashes out with a series of left blows to the solar plexus, but Stay covers himself well.
+Hitchens fires a flurry of commanding shots to the jaw.
-Hitchens probes with a right hook to the chin, but flails uselessly.
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+Stay hammers Hitchens with a volley of solid shots to the ribs.
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-Hitchens throws a flurry of left shots to the nose, but to no avail.
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-Hitchens throws a pair of left punches to the chin, but misses.
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-Hitchens paws a flurry of left shots to the solar plexus, but goes wide.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 8 of 33 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 7 of 8 punches.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man won the round 10-9

This fight is too close to call.


Hitchens grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 6

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

-Hitchens charges with a volley of punches to the head, but Stay takes it in the forearms.
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-Hitchens attempts a series of blows to the mouth, but misses.
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+Stay slams Hitchens with a volley of shots to the solar plexus.
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-Hitchens lunges with a flurry of punches to the chin, but fails to score.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 8 of 32 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man won the round 10-9

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is winning the fight 58-57


Hitchens grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool.

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 7

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens tries a flurry of blows to the temple, but only hits air.
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-Hitchens probes with a volley of right shots to the stomach, but misses.
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+Hitchens suprises Stay with a volley of furious blows to the chin!!
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-Hitchens lashes out with a barrage of left blows to the mouth, but Stay steps aside.
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+Stay tags Hitchens with a barrage of punches to the face. Hitchens seems wobbly!
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-Hitchens probes with a right to the temple, but Stay escapes.
-Hitchens attempts a series of right blows to the nose, but goes wide.
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+Hitchens hits Stay with a flurry of punches to the temple. Stay grimaces in pain.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 7 of 31 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man won the round 10-9

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is winning the fight 68-66


Hitchens is obviously tired.

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 8

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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+Stay jars Hitchens with a flurry of blows to the nose.
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-Hitchens throws a left roundhouse to the mouth, but misses completely.
-Hitchens paws a left left to the mouth, but Stay beats a hasty retreat.
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-Hitchens tries to land a pair of right shots to the nose, but fails to score.
-Hitchens attacks with a pair of left shots to the nose, but Stay deftly avoits it.
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+Hitchens jars Stay with a series of commanding punches to the mouth. Stay sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 7 of 30 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man won the round 10-9

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is winning the fight 78-75


Hitchens is obviously tired.

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 9

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens fires a pair of right punches to the jaw, but Stay leaps aside.
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+Stay hits Hitchens with a volley of punches to the solar plexus.
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-Hitchens throws a volley of blows to the temple, but Stay ties him up.
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+Hitchens thumps Stay with a pair of shots to the face. Stay sneers "My little sister can hit harder than you!"
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 7 of 30 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man won the round 10-9

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is winning the fight 88-84


Hitchens is obviously tired.

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 10

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens charges with a series of left blows to the mouth, but misses completely.
-Hitchens lunges with a volley of left punches to the jaw, but loses his balance.
-Hitchens throws a barrage of right shots to the chin, but flails uselessly.
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-Hitchens attempts a flurry of shots to the stomach, but Stay quickly backs away.
+Hitchens attacks with a volley of painful shots to the solar plexus!
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+Stay throws a pair of blows to the head!
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-Hitchens fires a left jab to the stomach, but Stay narrowly avoids it
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 7 of 31 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 7 of 7 punches.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man won the round 10-9

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is winning the fight 98-93


Hitchens is obviously tired. He has a bloody nose.

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 11

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens launches a jab to the mouth, but Stay hides behind his gloves.
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+Hitchens takes charge with a volley of furious shots to the ribs.
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-Hitchens fires a pair of shots to the head, but to no avail.
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+Stay hits Hitchens with a flurry of nasty shots to the nose.
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-Hitchens probes with a flurry of left shots to the nose, but is ineffective.
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-Hitchens probes with a pair of blows to the eye, but he's too slow.
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-Hitchens probes with a barrage of left blows to the chin, but comes up empty.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 6 of 32 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 7 of 8 punches.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man won the round 10-9

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is winning the fight 108-102


Hitchens is obviously tired. He has a bloody nose.

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 12

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

+Stay stuns Hitchens with a barrage of nice shots to the head.
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-Hitchens tries a left left to the face, but fails to score.
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-Hitchens paws a pair of right punches to the temple, but only hits air.
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-Hitchens paws a flurry of left shots to the chin, but Stay hides behind his gloves.
-Hitchens tries to land a flurry of right shots to the chin, but misses completely.
+Hitchens hits with a flurry of painful blows to the stomach.
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-Hitchens attacks with a pair of shots to the mouth, but only hits air.
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-Hitchens tries to land a barrage of punches to the head, but Stay leaps aside.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 7 of 34 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man won the round 10-9

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is winning the fight 118-111


Hitchens is slowing down. He has swelling above the right eye. He has a bloody nose.

Stay doesn't even want to rest!




The judges decisions are:


Judge Guimond scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 2: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 3: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 4: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 5: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 6: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 7: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 8: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 9: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 10: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 11: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 12: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9

Total Score: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 116-112


Judge Leinbach scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: A 10-10 tie.
Round 2: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 3: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 4: A 10-10 tie.
Round 5: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 6: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 7: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 8: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 9: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 10: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 11: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 12: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9

Total Score: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 120-110


Bobby Czyz scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: A 10-10 tie.
Round 2: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 3: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 4: A 10-10 tie.
Round 5: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 6: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 7: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 8: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 9: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 10: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 11: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9
Round 12: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 10-9

Total Score: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man 120-110

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man wins by decision!


          

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