Public Fight Report

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(Heavyweight) Christopher Hitchens defeated Stay Puft Marshmallow Man by unanimous decision: 120-108, 120-108, 120-108.

Match Friday, August 01, 2014

In this corner, standing 5 feet and 8 inches (173 centimeters) tall weighing in at 245 pounds (111 kilograms) is Christopher Hitchens!!

In this corner, standing 9 feet and 3 inches (282 centimeters) tall weighing in at 975 pounds (442 kilograms) is Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!!

The referee for this bout will be Joe Cortez.

ROUND 1

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens attempts a series of right punches to the stomach, but loses his balance.
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+Stay backs up Hitchens with a flurry of wild punches to the face! Hitchens falls against the ropes!
-Hitchens charges with a right straight right to the jaw, but Stay narrowly avoids it
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-Hitchens lashes out with a right jab to the mouth, but Stay ties him up.
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-Hitchens throws a series of left shots to the nose, but Stay quickly backs away.
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-Hitchens throws a volley of left punches to the nose, but Stay quickly backs away.
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+Hitchens grazes Stay with a barrage of off balance blows to the head.
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+Hitchens clocks Stay with a pair of quick punches to the head.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 11 of 31 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 10-9


Hitchens doesn't want to stop fighting!

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 2

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens launches a right jab to the ribs, but he's too slow.
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-Hitchens tries a volley of blows to the eye, but Stay blocks.
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+Stay catches Hitchens with a pair of commanding shots to the temple.
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-Hitchens throws a flurry of left punches to the eye, but falls short.
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+Hitchens pounds Stay with a volley of painful punches to the face.
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-Hitchens tries a flurry of right shots to the stomach, but only hits air.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 11 of 33 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 20-18


Hitchens doesn't want to stop fighting!

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 3

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens lashes out with a pair of left blows to the mouth, but falls short.
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-Hitchens tries to land a straight right to the chin, but Stay steps aside.
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+Hitchens fires a volley of shots to the temple.
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-Hitchens attempts a flurry of left shots to the head, but Stay ties him up.
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+Stay pounds Hitchens with a barrage of solid shots to the mouth.
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-Hitchens attempts a barrage of shots to the eye, but Stay escapes.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 11 of 33 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 30-27


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 4

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

-Hitchens lunges with a volley of punches to the temple, but Stay hides behind his gloves.
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-Hitchens probes with a barrage of right blows to the temple, but Stay stays away from it.
-Hitchens fires a flurry of right shots to the stomach, but Stay steps aside and laughs.
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+Hitchens backs up Stay with a pair of blows to the head.
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-Hitchens lunges with a series of blows to the temple, but Stay stays away from it.
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+Stay staggers Hitchens with a pair of off balance blows to the eye.
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+Hitchens staggers Stay with a uppercut to the nose. Stay gets mad!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 11 of 27 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 40-36


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 5

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens attempts a flurry of punches to the eye, but goes wide.
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-Hitchens attempts a barrage of left blows to the stomach, but fails to score.
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+Hitchens solidly lands a jab to the chest.
-Hitchens attempts a left straight right to the solar plexus, but Stay covers himself well.
+Stay jolts Hitchens with a barrage of punches to the chin. Hitchens laughs!
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+Hitchens jolts Stay with a barrage of mean blows to the chin.
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-Hitchens probes with a barrage of punches to the chest, but misses.
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-Hitchens attempts a series of left blows to the mouth, but falls short.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 10 of 35 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 50-45


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 6

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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+Hitchens strikes with a right to the nose. Stay grimaces in pain.
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+Stay wallops Hitchens with a barrage of off balance shots to the eye.
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-Hitchens attempts a left cross to the jaw, but is ineffective.
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-Hitchens probes with a flurry of right shots to the face, but flails uselessly.
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-Hitchens probes with a barrage of left blows to the solar plexus, but Stay covers himself well.
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-Hitchens throws a barrage of punches to the chin, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 11 of 35 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 60-54


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 7

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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+Hitchens slams Stay with a barrage of glancing punches to the nose.
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-Hitchens attempts a series of blows to the temple, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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-Hitchens throws a right roundhouse to the eye, but Stay ties him up.
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+Hitchens lashes out with a nice right to the head! Stay sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
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-Hitchens attacks with a volley of shots to the head, but Stay deftly avoits it.
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-Hitchens tries a barrage of right shots to the eye, but flails uselessly.
+Stay hits with a painful jab to the temple.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 11 of 30 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 70-63


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 8

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens probes with a volley of right shots to the nose, but fails to score.
+Hitchens tosses a barrage of heavy blows to the head!
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-Hitchens tries to land a flurry of punches to the stomach, but Stay beats a hasty retreat.
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-Hitchens throws a barrage of punches to the eye, but loses his balance.
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+Stay lands a flurry of mean blows to the chin.
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+Hitchens annoys Stay with a painful straight right to the head.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 10 of 31 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 7 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 80-72


Hitchens remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 9

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens tries to land a series of shots to the chin, but misses completely.
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-Hitchens attempts a barrage of right punches to the stomach, but Stay quickly backs away.
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-Hitchens attacks with a flurry of punches to the head, but he's too slow.
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-Hitchens lunges with a barrage of punches to the chin, but Stay narrowly avoids it
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+Stay hits with a flurry of heavy shots to the mouth.
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+Hitchens scores with a stiff hook to the mouth!
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 10 of 32 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 90-81


Hitchens remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 10

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens tries a series of blows to the jaw, but Stay takes it in the forearms.
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+Stay smashes Hitchens with a series of glancing shots to the face. Hitchens hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
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-Hitchens fires a left sweeping right to the solar plexus, but Stay takes it in the forearms.
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+Hitchens takes charge with a series of nasty punches to the nose.
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-Hitchens launches a right to the head, but Stay narrowly avoids it
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-Hitchens launches a pair of left shots to the face, but he's too slow.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 8 of 30 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 100-90


Hitchens remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 11

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens tries to land a barrage of left punches to the mouth, but Stay covers himself well.
-Hitchens throws a barrage of right shots to the jaw, but Stay blocks.
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+Stay punches Hitchens with a series of punches to the nose!
-Hitchens probes with a flurry of left blows to the eye, but flails uselessly.
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+Hitchens smashes Stay with a series of stiff shots to the eye.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 11 of 32 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 7 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 110-99


Hitchens remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 12

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

-Hitchens launches a sweeping right to the nose, but Stay ducks just in time.
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-Hitchens attempts a flurry of blows to the ribs, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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+Hitchens pokes Stay with a flurry of painful shots to the chin.
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+Stay lashes out with a series of powerful blows to the eye. Hitchens beats a hasty retreat.
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-Hitchens tries to land a barrage of right punches to the stomach, but Stay ducks just in time.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 10 of 30 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 120-108


Hitchens remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Stay doesn't even want to rest!




The judges decisions are:


Judge Guimond scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 2: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 3: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 4: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 5: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 6: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 7: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 8: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 9: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 10: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 11: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 12: Christopher Hitchens 10-9

Total Score: Christopher Hitchens 120-108


Judge Leinbach scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 2: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 3: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 4: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 5: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 6: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 7: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 8: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 9: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 10: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 11: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 12: Christopher Hitchens 10-9

Total Score: Christopher Hitchens 120-108


Oscar De La Hoya scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 2: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 3: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 4: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 5: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 6: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 7: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 8: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 9: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 10: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 11: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 12: Christopher Hitchens 10-9

Total Score: Christopher Hitchens 120-108

Christopher Hitchens wins by decision!


          

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