Public Fight Report

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(Heavyweight) Christopher Hitchens defeated Stay Puft Marshmallow Man by unanimous decision: 120-108, 120-108, 120-108.

Match Tuesday, July 29, 2014

In this corner, standing 5 feet and 8 inches (173 centimeters) tall weighing in at 240 pounds (109 kilograms) is Christopher Hitchens!!

In this corner, standing 9 feet and 3 inches (282 centimeters) tall weighing in at 975 pounds (442 kilograms) is Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!!

The referee for this bout will be Dalby Shirley.

ROUND 1

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens lunges with a sweeping right to the nose, but Stay backs out of it.
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+Stay fires a series of strong shots to the temple.
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-Hitchens throws a flurry of shots to the stomach, but Stay leaps aside.
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+Hitchens lands a right to the head. Stay covers up.
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+Hitchens nails Stay with a series of shots to the jaw. Stay doesn't notice.
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+Hitchens connects with a pair of nice punches to the nose. Stay sneers "Is that the best you can do?"

BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 14 of 32 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 10-9


Hitchens doesn't want to stop fighting!

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 2

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

-Hitchens lunges with a volley of right blows to the stomach, but he's too slow.
-Hitchens attempts a right sweeping right to the head, but Stay deftly avoits it.
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-Hitchens fires a series of blows to the chest, but only hits air.
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-Hitchens throws a volley of left punches to the chest, but falls short.
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+Hitchens attacks with a volley of punches to the mouth.
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+Hitchens lands a pair of strong punches to the stomach.
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+Stay pops Hitchens with a hook to the chest. Hitchens hangs on until the referee breaks them up.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 13 of 30 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 20-18


Hitchens doesn't want to stop fighting!

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 3

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

-Hitchens throws a series of right punches to the nose, but loses his balance.
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-Hitchens attempts a volley of punches to the head, but Stay hides behind his gloves.
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+Hitchens tags Stay with a pair of stiff blows to the face. Stay doesn't seem bothered.
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-Hitchens probes with a pair of punches to the jaw, but loses his balance.
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+Stay hits Hitchens with a barrage of wild blows to the solar plexus. Hitchens doesn't notice.
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+Hitchens strikes with a volley of painful shots to the jaw. Stay doesn't seem bothered.
+Hitchens hits with a volley of punches to the temple.
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-Hitchens tries a flurry of left shots to the temple, but loses his balance.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 13 of 32 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 30-27


Hitchens doesn't want to stop fighting!

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 4

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

+Stay lands a hard left to the jaw. Hitchens laughs!
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+Hitchens fires a roundhouse to the solar plexus.
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+Hitchens annoys Stay with a series of blows to the head.
-Hitchens fires a pair of right punches to the eye, but goes wide.
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-Hitchens paws a barrage of right punches to the head, but Stay ducks.
-Hitchens charges with a pair of left blows to the chin, but misses completely.
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-Hitchens attacks with a barrage of punches to the mouth, but Stay stays away from it.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 12 of 31 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 40-36


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't want to stop fighting!



ROUND 5

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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+Stay hits with a pair of nasty punches to the solar plexus.
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-Hitchens throws a volley of blows to the jaw, but misses.
+Hitchens slams Stay with a pair of commanding shots to the ribs.
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-Hitchens tries to land a pair of blows to the temple, but Stay backs out of it.
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+Hitchens fires a barrage of blows to the face!
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-Hitchens charges with a pair of right blows to the mouth, but Stay backs out of it.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 14 of 33 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 9 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 50-45


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 6

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens lashes out with a volley of left punches to the head, but Stay hides behind his gloves.
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+Hitchens smacks Stay with a pair of shots to the ribs.
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-Hitchens probes with a flurry of blows to the temple, but he's too slow.
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+Stay solidly lands a strong jab to the head.
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-Hitchens paws a series of shots to the solar plexus, but goes wide.
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+Hitchens hits with a volley of hard punches to the ribs.
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+Hitchens jolts Stay with a left to the jaw.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 12 of 31 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 60-54


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 7

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

+Hitchens connects with a stiff uppercut to the chest.
-Hitchens throws a barrage of shots to the jaw, but Stay hides behind his gloves.
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-Hitchens lunges with a left sweeping right to the chest, but taps his opponent ineffectively.
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+Hitchens stuns Stay with a series of wild blows to the nose.
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-Hitchens probes with a volley of punches to the ribs, but comes up empty.
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+Stay hits Hitchens with a volley of punches to the face. Hitchens falls against the ropes!
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-Hitchens attempts a barrage of left blows to the eye, but Stay covers himself well.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 13 of 32 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 9 of 9 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 70-63


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 8

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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+Hitchens pops Stay with a barrage of blows to the jaw!
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-Hitchens charges with a volley of right punches to the nose, but to no avail.
-Hitchens fires a flurry of shots to the temple, but to no avail.
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-Hitchens throws a series of punches to the stomach, but misses.
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+Hitchens hits with a volley of shots to the chest. Stay ignores it.
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+Stay wakes up the fans with a flurry of commanding blows to the face. Hitchens beats a hasty retreat.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 12 of 33 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 9 of 9 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 80-72


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 9

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens launches a barrage of left blows to the mouth, but Stay beats a hasty retreat.
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-Hitchens launches a volley of right shots to the solar plexus, but to no avail.
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+Stay throws a series of vicious punches to the jaw.
-Hitchens throws a left jab to the jaw, but Stay covers himself well.
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+Hitchens smashes Stay with a volley of shots to the chin.
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+Hitchens belts Stay with a jab to the solar plexus.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 12 of 31 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 90-81


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 10

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens attempts a flurry of shots to the nose, but misses completely.
-Hitchens probes with a volley of blows to the solar plexus, but Stay backs out of it.
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+Stay lands a pair of nice blows to the nose. Hitchens laughs!
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+Hitchens tosses a series of punches to the nose!
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-Hitchens lashes out with a series of punches to the head, but to no avail.
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-Hitchens throws a sweeping right to the ribs, but Stay ducks just in time.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 10 of 32 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 100-90


Hitchens doesn't even want to rest!

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 11

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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-Hitchens throws a series of shots to the face, but he's too slow.
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+Stay lands a flurry of commanding blows to the eye! Hitchens retreats to the far corner.
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-Hitchens throws a left hook to the head, but Stay ties him up.
+Hitchens whacks Stay with a pair of powerful shots to the head. Stay retreats to the far corner.
-Hitchens tries a right right to the chin, but Stay leaps aside.
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-Hitchens launches a right jab to the ribs, but Stay leaps aside.
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-Hitchens launches a volley of punches to the nose, but loses his balance.
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+Hitchens wallops Stay with a flurry of punches to the solar plexus. Stay sneers "My grandmother can hit harder than that!"
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 12 of 32 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 8 of 8 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 110-99


Hitchens remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Stay doesn't even want to rest!



ROUND 12

Hitchens comes out fighting.
Stay covers up.

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+Hitchens smacks Stay with a flurry of hard shots to the eye.
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+Stay tosses a solid hook to the face. Hitchens is hurt!
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-Hitchens probes with a pair of left blows to the jaw, but Stay ducks just in time.
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+Hitchens lashes out with a barrage of strong blows to the temple.
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-Hitchens throws a series of right shots to the chest, but he's too slow.
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BELL

According to the commentator:

Christopher Hitchens landed 11 of 34 punches, and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man landed 7 of 7 punches.

Christopher Hitchens won the round 10-9

Christopher Hitchens is winning the fight 120-108


Hitchens remains standing while the trainer wipes him down.

Stay doesn't even want to rest!




The judges decisions are:


Judge Guimond scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 2: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 3: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 4: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 5: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 6: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 7: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 8: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 9: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 10: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 11: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 12: Christopher Hitchens 10-9

Total Score: Christopher Hitchens 120-108


Judge Leinbach scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 2: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 3: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 4: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 5: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 6: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 7: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 8: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 9: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 10: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 11: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 12: Christopher Hitchens 10-9

Total Score: Christopher Hitchens 120-108


Christy Martin scores the fight as follows:

Round 1: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 2: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 3: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 4: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 5: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 6: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 7: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 8: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 9: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 10: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 11: Christopher Hitchens 10-9
Round 12: Christopher Hitchens 10-9

Total Score: Christopher Hitchens 120-108

Christopher Hitchens wins by decision!


          

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