Public Fight Report
(Bantamweight) Joe "Satch" Satriani defeated Army of Dorkness 3 by knockout (KO) in round 1.Match Tuesday, May 25, 2021In this corner, standing 4 feet and 7 inches (140 centimeters) tall weighing in at 118 pounds (54 kilograms) is Army of Dorkness 3!!
In this corner, standing 4 feet and 5 inches (135 centimeters) tall weighing in at 118 pounds (54 kilograms) is Joe "Satch" Satriani!!
The referee for this bout will be Joe Cortez.
ROUND 1
Dorkness 3 clinches when his opponent closes. (clinching)
Satch is brawling. (inside)
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+Dorkness 3 jars Satch with a mean roundhouse to the ribs.
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+Satch attacks with a series of hard blows to the nose. Dorkness 3 laughs!
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+Satch smashes Dorkness 3 with a volley of light shots to the face. Dorkness 3 seems wobbly!
Satch lands a vicious left blow to the temple and Dorkness 3 is knocked down!!
ONE
TWO
THREE
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SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
Dorkness 3 struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
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Satch tries to attack, but Dorkness 3 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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+Dorkness 3 pummels Satch with a series of nice punches to the ribs.
Satch tries to attack, but Dorkness 3 hangs on until the referee separates them.
+Satch punches Dorkness 3 with a volley of strong blows to the head.
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+Dorkness 3 fires a pair of painful punches to the stomach.
+Satch slams Dorkness 3 with a flurry of powerful shots to the face! Dorkness 3 falls against the ropes!
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+Dorkness 3 throws a series of shots to the ribs. Satch backpedals to his own corner.
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Satch tries to attack, but Dorkness 3 hangs on until the referee separates them.
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-Satch attempts a volley of blows to the temple, but he's too slow.
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+Dorkness 3 hits with a pair of off balance shots to the solar plexus!
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+ The fighters exchange blows to the mouth.
+Satch fires a off balance uppercut to the chin.
Satch lands a thundering left blow to the temple and Dorkness 3's legs turn to jelly -- down he goes!!
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THREE
FOUR
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SEVEN
Dorkness 3 struggles to his feet and the fight goes on.
+Satch takes charge with a volley of shots to the jaw. Dorkness 3 covers up.
Satch lands a decisive right blow to the temple and Dorkness 3 collapses!!
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NINE
TEN
He's Out!
Joe "Satch" Satriani wins by a Knock Out!!
BELL
Dorkness 3 remains standing while the trainer wipes him down. He has a fractured nose.
Satch grabs a water bottle and rests on his stool. He has minor cut above the right eye. He has swelling above the right eye.
Joe "Satch" Satriani wins by a knockout!
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