Heavy T and The Big Boys - Dan Dangerly Column

7:30 PM

07

Aug

Where's my favorite homo!??!

Where's my favorite homo!??!

8:24 AM

29

Jul

Dan Dangerly's Upset and Beatdown of the Week, July 17, 2010

Vinny LaPasta has given in (and the pictures from his past have yet to surface), so Girly Dan Dangerly is back with his Beatdown of the Week commentary. This fight happened on July 17, but LaPasta's executive secretary (T.Ty) is a bit behind.

Warning this portion of the commentary is in no way, shape or form written or approved by Terminator Ty or Big Boy Inc.

This Week we are starting my FAAAABULOUS coverage with the Beatdown of the week!

After making a call to Vinny and visiting him in his office to convince him that my writing is very much needed in this commentary and he should set me up with tickets to every fightm he VERY happily decided to sit me ring side! I'm going for bottle service next week, but I digress.

After a lot of fights, awesome finishes and time in the locker room with hot sweaty guys all week (including hearing some trash talk and the fear of men's "pee-pees" being in danger), I was very worried. Were the referring to me? I don't know what I would do if, nevermind that!

Lets get to the Beatdown of the week before I get all hot, bothered and super distracted!

Belay That Order managed by Ogres of Zen vs. Master of the Mind managed by The Battlin Bectel

I don't know what kind of strategy Bectel had set up, but it seemed that Belay That Order and Orges of Zen came ready. Belay came out firing on all cylinders, putting Master down early in round 1! Round 2 begins and Belay changes up, looking to get close and pound on Master using some clinch fighting. Nothing gets me more excited then seeing two big men hugging and grabbing! Master of the Mind is firing away when Belay brings a nasty cross from right field laying Master down for a 5 count! After getting up and now there is noticable swelling all over Master's face, he starts unloading some more shots! With Master's caution to the wind he takes bombs to the head swelling his right eye and opening a cut below it. His lip and left eye faired no better (getting gashed so bad he spent an hour after the fight getting them sewn back up)! Another knockdown by Belay and the round comes to a close. Master's is pretty beat up, and his face is mauled. Belay mercifully ended the fight by KO early in the third.

Belay is a savage beast. I think he might only be sexier in a pit-fighting setting, but until Vinny lets me start my own new business, I'll have to settle for this. Goodbye until next week. (GDD)


Beatdown of the Week - Past Winners

Ogres of Zen's Belay That Order W-KO (3) over Bectel's Master of the Mind (7.17.2010)

Jedi Jay's Smashley Simpson W-KO (1) over Ippo Makonouchi (7.10.2010)


Upset of the Week - Past Winners

Big Beer's Lagunitas "Censored" American Amber W-KO (12) over Terminator Ty's Kevin "Tubby" Rolston (7.10.2010)


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El Hombre

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Update - 8.6.2010 - Dan? Dannie? You out there? Oh jeez. How is Vinny LaPasta going to explain this. Nobody's seen the little jock strap chaser in nearly 2 weeks. This can't be good.

Update - 7.30.2010 - I'm giving Girly Dan Dangerly a full week off this week. He says he's tired (jeez, he worked what like two weeks). Well, nobody accused him of being tough. He is Girly Dan. It also happens to be my six-day work week at the good old USPS.

Next week is a VACATION for Terminator Ty. So he will return. Also, I'd rather focus my little bit of time on the full commentary.

Girly Dan Dangerly contributes his weekly or bi-weekly (did somebody say bi?) column featuring the Greatest Upsets and Gruesome Beatdowns in Big Dawg Boxing.